para hlala nabasemzini kubalulekile ukuba nochungechunge lwamathuluzi ezenhlalakahle nezomzwelo, ukuze ubhekane nesimo ngaphandle kwezinkinga, kulesi sihloko sizokukhombisa ukuthi ungayenza kanjani.
ukuhlala nabasemzini
Sekuyiminyaka eminingi abasekhweni bethathwa njengezihlobo eziseduze kunoma yimuphi umbhangqwana, futhi yibo abathukwa kakhulu futhi bazondwa ngenye yezingxenye zomshado, nakuba amacala amaningi angabonisi lesi simo. Nokho kunenkolelo yokuthi omamezala yibona abazondwa kakhulu yizinhlangothi zombili.
Ukungezwani okudaleke eminyakeni edlule kuzakhele udumo oluhlobene nempilo yasekhweni. Ngokunjalo, zibhekwa emibonweni evamile, amahlaya namahlaya ahlobene nesimo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho komamezala kanye noyisezala. Le midonsiswano ihlukene futhi kukhona ngempela izithandani ezihlala ekhweni ngaphandle kwezinkinga.
Ngokombono wengqondo, kungashiwo ukuthi ngandlela-thile akusizi ukuhlala nabasemzini, ikakhulukazi lapho ubuhlobo obuzinzile buqala. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunezimo nezici ezenza umbhangqwana uhlale nabasemzini.
Amanye amacala akhombisile ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile ngenxa yokungenelela kukaninazala noma umkhwekazi ebudlelwaneni bomshado kanye nemfundo yezingane. Kunesimo okuthi ngokwezibalo nocwaningo oluthile sihlotshaniswe nokungezwani nokungezwani phakathi kukamalukazana nomamezala.
Akwenzeki okufanayo phakathi kukayisezala nomkhwenyana, kodwa amaqiniso alabo abashadile kufanele akhiwe ikakhulukazi abantu ababili abanezimfihlo zokuhlala bodwa. Nakuba eminyakeni yokuqala yobudlelwane kukhona umehluko. Kodwa ake sibheke izici ezithile ezinquma izimo ezihlukene endleleni yokuphila nabasemzini.
Okuhle nokubi
Nakuba kungeyona yonke into embi kulolu hlobo lobudlelwano, sizothola izinzuzo kanye nokubi hlala nabasemzini, ngisho nasekupheleni kwesihloko sizonikeza amathuluzi athile ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nobudlelwane basekhweni nezingane uma kwenzeka uzithola uphila kuleso simo.
Izinzuzo
Phakathi kwezinzuzo esinazo eyodwa ebaluleke ngokwedlulele, futhi ehlobene nomnotho.Abasekhweni bangabazali bethu ngempela abafuna impilo engcono kakhulu yezingane zabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungogazi noma osopolitiki. Kodwa uma uhlala noyisezala, isimo somnotho sabashadile sizinzile.
Ngokufanayo, imisebenzi yasekhaya ayinamandla kangako, njengoba imisebenzi yezandla inikezwa abantu abambalwa, ngokufanayo ukunakekela izingane ngokuvamile kuwela ezandleni zabasekhweni. Okunye futhi okuhlobene eduze nalesi sici ukuthi izingane zingajabulela ogogo nomkhulu cishe nsuku zonke, into ebingeke yenzeke ukube bezihlala kude nabo.
Kwezinye izimo, ubuhlobo bomkhaya buyaqina futhi izinkinga zixazululwe ngokushesha, isibopho somkhaya siyaqiniswa naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi kungase kube khona ukungqubuzana, ukukhulumisana nemizwa ivezwa ngendlela engcono. Esihlokweni izinkinga zomndeni, kuvela izici ezingasiza ukuxazulula lezi zingxabano.
nebubi
Enye yezinto ezifunwa kakhulu ingxenye esondelene, umbhangqwana unomuzwa wokuthi ukusondelana kwabo kuphuliwe, ubumfihlo bulinganiselwe kanye nendlela yokuba ndawonye nokukwazi ukuxhumana. Esinye isici okufanele sicatshangelwe ukungqubuzana okubangelwa ukulandelwa kwemithetho yokuhlalisana ekhaya.
Siyazi sonke ukuthi izithandani eziningi zizibekela eyazo imithetho uma zisaqala ukuhlala ndawonye, nokho-ke uma sezihlala ekhweni kumele zibeke eceleni izindlela ezithile zokuphila zivumelane nezimo ezibekwa abanikazi bezindlu. Yiqiniso, ukungezwani kuyaqala futhi kuqubuke izingxabano.
Ukuzimela kombhangqwana kuyalahleka kanjalo nokukhulumisana okusondelene, lapho ngisho nezinqumo ezithile ezibalulekile kufanele zibhekwe ngokombono wabasemzini. Uhlangothi okukhulunywa ngalo kakhulu, ikakhulukazi omama, ukuthi izingane zithola iziyalezo zemfundo egunyazwe abasekhweni.
Ukugxambukela kwezemfundo kuyiphuzu elibucayi abazali abaningi abakholelwa ukuthi liphinde liguqule ukuzinza kombhangqwana. Ukuhlala nabasemzini kumelele isimo esingesihle neze nakakhulu uma unezingane. ukufunda isihloko esilandelayo ukulawula umfutho, uzokwazi ukuthuthukisa amathuluzi okunqoba lesi simo.
Nakuba izingane zizuza kakhulu, abazali banomuzwa wokuthi ukuba khona negunya labo kwephulwa lapho ogogo nomkhulu benquma indlela abafana okufanele bakhuliswe ngayo. Ngokuphathelene nogogo nomkhulu, kuyatuseka ukuba abazali ngokwabo basebenzise imfundo negunya phezu kwabantwana.
Lesi sihloko sinolwazi nje, ku-Psychology-Online asinawo amandla okwenza ukuxilongwa noma ukuncoma ukwelashwa. Sikumema ukuthi uye kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ukuze welaphe udaba lwakho oluthile.
Imiphumela
Isimo nesimo esidala ukungakhululeki okungakhula njengoba umbhangqwana uba nokuhlangana okungekuhle, izingxoxo nezinkathazo, kungaba nabazali bomfazi noma abazali bomyeni. Kancane kancane, izimo ziyavela lapho zikhiqiza uhlobo oluthile lomphumela. Kunezimo ezinzima kangaka lapho umbhangqwana usufinyelele ezingeni lokuhlukanisa.
Uma kunethuba lokushada, into yokuqala efika engqondweni lapho umbhangqwana uzohlala khona. Abasemzini njengesenzo sokwethembeka banikela ngezindlu zabo njengenye indlela nengxenye yesivumelwano baze bathole ikhaya elingelabo.
Kodwa-ke lesi simo siyahlanekezelwa kwasekuqaleni futhi abashadikazi bagcina sebephila cishe unomphela nabasemzini. Esinye isici okufanele sicatshangelwe ukuthi umbhangqwana kufanele ukhumbule ukuthi ukuze bakhe ubuhlobo bomshado, kubalulekile ukucabangela ukuhlala ndawonye kungakhathaliseki ukuthi benzani noma benzani.
Ukukhulisa enye indlela yokuhlala nabasemzini akusona isinqumo esihlakaniphe kakhulu. Kodwa uma ingekho enye indlela, ayikho enye indlela. Njengoba sesishilo, abasekhweni ngokuvamile bayabasiza abashadile ngokwezimali baze bathole eyabo indawo yokuhlala.
Kodwa uma kucatshangelwa ukuthi sekuvele kungenakugwemeka ukuhlala nabasemzini, akunakugwenywa ukwazi ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi le ndlela ehlukile ingaveza imiphumela ethile, ake sibone ukuthi ziyini:
- Ukungakwazi ukuzimela emshadweni kwenza kube nzima ukuhlela ukuba nezingane, futhi ngeke kube ukuthi izindawo zasemkhweni azikho indawo yokuhlala eyengeziwe.
- Ukungqubuzana kudalwa lapho abanye bezifundo bekholelwa ukuthi indodana yabo ayimfanele umuntu oseduze kwayo, ekubeni yayingenawo amandla okuhlela ukuthengwa komuzi.
- Abashadikazi bayaphoqeleka ukuthi bahambisane nemithetho ebekwe ekhweni. Ngaphandle kwesizathu i-filiation yabo iphakanyisiwe futhi umbhangqwana kufanele uhambisane nawo.
- Izimo zokugunyazwa zibusa. Abanye abasekhweni basabona izingane zabo njengezingane futhi bazibekela imithetho nemithetho okunzima ukuyamukela.
- Umnikelo wezomnotho kufanele uhambisane futhi umbhangqwana kufanele unikele ngenani elikhulu lomholo wabo ukuze usekele ikhaya, ngaleyo ndlela unciphise ikhono labo lokonga ukuze uthole enye indlela yokuthenga umuzi.
Ungakugwema kanjani?
Izimo ezidalwe mayelana nokuhlala nezifundo zinquma izici ezithile okufanele zicatshangelwe. Okokuqala, kukhona lapho omunye wamaqembu engafuni ukuhlala nomazala nganoma yisiphi isizathu.
Kukhona futhi ukuthi kungenzeka lapho bobabili bengakufuni kodwa ngenxa yezimo ezithile zomnotho noma ukufuna ngandlela thize ukuzihlanganisa ndawonye, bakwenza lokho ngendlela eyimpoqo. Ngokunjalo kukhona ukungezwani phakathi kukamalukazana nomamezala, umkhwenyana nomamezala, umalokazana kanye nomamezala noma inyumba nobabazala.
Isimo ngasinye sihlala singakhululekile, kuwo wonke umuntu. Yingakho umbhangqwana kufanele ugweme ukufuna ukuhlala noyisezala nganoma yisiphi isizathu uma kukhona lezi zimo ezingenhla. Nokho zikhona izimo lapho kungekho qembu elingaboni ngaso linye nabasemzini.
Ukuhlalisana kwenziwa ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, kubhekwa ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo bungokwemvelo futhi bunobudlelwane obunjani, kuyohlale kubalulekile ukucabangela ukuhlala nomlingani wakho ekhaya lakho.
thenga ikhaya
Enye yezindlela zokugwema ukuhlala nabasemzini wukuhlela umshado ngohlelo lwempilo. Lapho umuntu esungula lo mgomo, kufanele futhi acabangele emshadweni ithuba lokudala uzinzo olwenziwa ngenxa yokutholwa kwendlu, ephethwe noma eqashiwe.
Uma befuna sihlale nabasemzini, kubalulekile ukuthi bacabange ukuthola uhlobo oluthile lomuzi ngesikhathi besathandana, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo sinjani. Okubalulekile ukuthi bangahlala ndawonye futhi bodwa. Lolu hlobo lwesimo luvumela abashadikazi ukuthi banikezwe ukuzimela futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bazisungulele izimo zabo ezibavumela ukuba bazitholele ikhaya labo.
Isidleke esingenalutho
Kuyisifo esisungulwa yizazi zokusebenza kwengqondo lapho umbhangqwana uhlala nabasemzini futhi bafuna isidingo sokuzimela ukuze bahlale emzini wabo. Akunakugwenywa ukuthi abasekhweni bazibandakanye empilweni yomshado wezingane zabo, ikakhulukazi uma behlala endlini eyodwa.
Isixazululo sezinkinga
Uma kwenzeka unquma ukuhlala nabasemzini wakho futhi akunakugwenywa ukuba ube ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo, kunconywa ukuba uhlale uzolile futhi ubheke ezinye izindlela ezingokomzwelo lapho ubuhle obuhlobene nokubekezela, ukuhlalisana nomusa kuthuthukiswa. Ngokufanayo, cabanga ngokubonga kwabasemzini ngokufaka uphahla nokuhlala nombhangqwana.
Kulezi zimo, isisombululo singahlala isikhathi esithile, ukuzola kungalahleka, baphinde bacabange ngezingxabano ezikhiqizwa kanye nezinhlobo zobunzima. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi nakuba abashadile behlala ekhweni, kufanele balandele yonke imibandela yabo.
Imininingwane ebalulekile iphumela lapho indlu inkulu kakhulu futhi kunendawo eyanele, lokhu kuzovumela ukusungula ukuzimela kwezomnotho nokuhlala ngaphakathi kwendlu efanayo nabasemzini.
Lawa macala akhona futhi awanayo inkinga, njengoba umbhangqwana uhlala ngokuzimela futhi awuxhumene ngokuqondile nemisebenzi nendlela yokuphila yabasemzini. Nokho, bambalwa kakhulu abangajabulela lesi simo.
Ukubekezelela
Uma kukhona noma yiluphi uhlobo lomehluko phakathi kombhangqwana nomkhwekazi noma umamezala (ngokuvamile umamezala), kufanele kucatshangwe lapho bobabili abathintekayo behlangana khona kanye nezimo zokubekezelelana, inhlonipho nokuqonda. kungadalwa. Izikhathi eziningi ukungaboni ngaso linye kudalwa yizimo ezincane nezingenangqondo, ezingaxazululwa ngendlela elula.
Kungenzeka ukuthi ukwazi omunye umuntu kangcono, siqaphele ukuthi kukhona kumamezala noma kuyisezala, kanye nomalokazana kanye nomkhwenyana, umuntu okungasungulwa ubuhlobo bobungani nokuzwana ngaphandle kwesidingo sokungena ezingxabanweni ezingadingekile.
Ukuze sinqobe izimo ezithile ezihlobene nalesi sihloko, sincoma isihloko esilandelayo Ukubaluleka kozwela, okuzokusiza uqonde okwengeziwe ngobudlelwano babantu.
Iziphetho
Akuyona imfihlo kunoma ubani ukuthi amathuba okungqubuzana ayanda uma efuna ukuhlala nabasemzini. I-reverse iyafana. Uma noma yimuphi umzali kumbhangqwana efuna indlela yokuhlala nomshado wengane yakhe, kungase kube nezinkinga.
Nakuba ekhweni uma befuna ukuhlala nomlingani wabo kuhluke kancane, kuyoba khona izinkinga, zanoma yiluphi uhlobo. Sincoma njengendlela yokuvimbela ukugwema ukuhlala nabasemzini kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka. Noma ngabe awunazo izindlela ezisebenzayo, thola indlela yokubakhuthaza ukuthi bagweme ukuhlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa nabasemzini.
Yenza izinqumo ezifanele uma ngempela ufuna ukuqhubekela phambili emshadweni, ungacabangi ukuthi isimo siyoba ngcono njengoba sasinjalo eminyakeni embalwa ngaphambili lapho uhlala nabazali bakho. Impilo yengane ayifani neyomuntu omdala. Abanye abazali abacabangi kanjalo ngaye.