Have you ever wondered if your partner has the profile of an abuser psychological? In this article you will know all the features.
Profile of an abuser, those who generate severe psychological damage
It is a pity that abuse is a phenomenon that can occur in interpersonal relationships, both as a couple and as a family, even among classmates at school (what is considered bullying) and at work (Mobbing).
One of the most common and least taken into account forms (since it is not seen with the naked eye) is psychological abuse, which is equal to or even more recurrent than physical abuse. Psychological abuse causes serious mental problems for victims.
Psychological abuse in most cases is usually silent, however, it is an odyssey for those who suffer it. One of the most frequent consequences is Low Self-esteem, but in addition to this, people who suffer psychological and emotional abuse suffer from serious problems such as anxiety, stress, depression, and even dependence on illicit substances.
Characteristics of an abuser
Now what is the profile of an abuser? What features do they have? Listed below are the most common habits and traits of an abuser.
1.- They are intolerant people
Intolerant people are those who do not respect the opinions, behaviors or attitudes of others. For this reason, they react aggressively, resentfully and rudely, because they consider that there is no reason that their own will prevails. They are usually sexist people.
2.- At first, everything is rosy
Batterers are not initially intolerant; on the contrary, in the initial phases of the relationship, they know how to behave and hide their true "I", which may take a while to appear, while trust with the other person increases, once trust is created, destructive attitudes begin to appear .
3.- They are authoritarian people
An abuser has the almost obligatory characteristic of being undemocratic and uncompromising. They love order but from a subjective point of view, that is, based on their own criteria. Regardless of whether they are right or wrong, if they are not obeyed, they explode.
4.-Psychologically rigid
Manipulators have rigid thinking and the only truth they pursue is their own. They are not people who seek to dialogue and reach an agreement, rather they are afraid of giving in to someone else's decisions. Everything that does not fit with their thinking is wrong and thus they guarantee that the only truth is the one they handle.
In addition, these people tend to think in totally stagnant and rigid ways, this makes it easy for them to be little empathic with others, even if there are no reasons for it.
5.- They have dichotomous thinking
Because they are totally rigid people, for them there are no midpoints, for them everything is good or bad. It is common for them to make victims feel guilty for things they have not done, or for things they have done but are not wrong.
7.-They are not self-critical
For the very reason that they are highly rigid people, and the only truth they believe in is their own, they cannot accept criticism. Any criticism that exists is taken as an attack on their identity and because of their way of seeing life, criticism is never considered a constructive contribution.
The victims are the ones who pay for their lack of coupling in society and their sense of failure, and for that they become their guinea pig. In addition, manipulators are obviously not self-critical, at least not systematically unless they come across an experience that makes them turn 180 degrees in their way of seeing life.
8.- They dedicate themselves to criticizing
Although not self-critical, manipulators love and are adept at easily criticizing others. They find other people's flaws and emotionally trample on them for their weakness, they are even capable of inventing a weakness to make the victim feel worse. Criticism is never constructive, it is aimed at making people suffer and they enjoy their reaction.
9.- They change their mood in seconds
Mood swings are common in this type of individual, they can go from a pleasant state to anger in just a few seconds. This, for being people for whom there are no midpoints, they go from being charming to horrible people.
10.- They are easily offended
These sudden mood swings are credited to their hypersensitivity and for this they often feel offended frequently. As mentioned above, if something doesn't fit within your truth, then it's wrong.
11.- They isolate the victim
The isolation of the victims is one of the main objectives of the abuser, which is why he forces them to be totally submissive.
12.- They are cruel and lack sensitivity
One of the heaviest features of the profile of an abuser, is the fact that sensitivity is not part of them, and psychological abuse usually extends to their children, it can even become physical, and in extreme cases, they can even mistreat their pets.
13.- They never regret it
Abusers are people who never regret what they do, continuing with the idea of the previous point, they tend to have this type of behavior with many people. That is why, among other things, that it is a psychological profile that should be kept away, since there is not even the possibility that they will reconsider at some point.
People who fit the profile of an abuser often make it seem like they are the victim.
14.- They make fictitious promises
Although they may seem like regret many times, eThese people often make false promises. They are experts at apologizing but, in reality, they are not sorry. Their typical phrase "I'm going to change" doesn't mean anything, because at the minimum they act the same.
15.- They are excessively controlling
Always having the need to feel superior to others, they also need to control them. Despite being insecure and fearing that they will be unmasked, control becomes their best ally. This way nothing can get out of hand.
16.- They do not control themselves emotionally
Although they want to be in control of others, they have no control over themselves. Many are emotionally illiterate. That is why they act impulsively and do not reflect on what is happening inside them.
17.- They never stop
Following the previous point, since they lack the capacity for reflection, they are people who cannot stop, for them, the end justifies the means. They can even act stealthily when they are in public, turning the lives of their victims into true torment.
18.- They know how to seduce
Since they are charming at first, they tend to catch their victims and lure them. For them, seduction is something very easy, it is a natural ability.
19.- They lie excessively
It is obvious that a manipulator is not someone honest. They are, in fact, expert liars, spouting lie after lie blamelessly and safely. It is very rare for them to tell the truth, since their attention is always focused on hurting the other.
20.- They constantly victimize themselves
This is one of the most interesting points of the profile of an abuser. They are always blaming others for their own actions, so victimizing themselves is one of their favorite activities to justify themselves.
The typical victimizing phrases such as "You don't love me, because you are more aware of others than of me", and many others that we have surely overlooked due to misinformation, are simple disguises of the abuser to appear as the abused. The psychological damage is continuous, but on several occasions it is usually indirect, mostly masked as false victimhood.
21.- Low or no empathy
Abusers are obviously not empathetic. In other words, they do not recognize the emotions of others or engage with them. This is why they can victimize themselves without any resentment.
Now that you know the features of the profile of an abuserAsk yourself, do you know any? Or even worse, do you live with any of them? All these attitudes must be taken into account and if you are close to someone with these characteristics, run away, talk to someone if necessary, but never allow them to scourge your mental well-being.
If you found this article interesting, take a look at our related article healthy couple relationships.