Imeko yoqhawulo-mtshato lweminyaka emide yomtshato yimvakalelo enika umphefumlo, kunzima ukoyisa kwabanye ngenxa yesi sizathu kuyimfuneko ukwazi iindlela ezahlukeneyo indlela yokuphelisa uqhawulo-mtshato emva kweminyaka yokuhlalisana, landela inqaku lethu.
Kuyafuneka ukuba uthathe ixesha lokuba buhlungu ukuze ukhuphe intlungu
Indlela yokuphelisa uqhawulo-mtshato?
Uqhawulo-mtshato, ngokwemigaqo yomthetho, kukupheliswa kweqhina lomtshato, apho omabini amaqela kuya kufuneka athethathethane ngezibophelelo ekuza kuthi aqhubeke nobomi babo ngokuzimeleyo. Ihlangabezana nokunxiba kunye nokukrazula kwemisebenzi kunye namalungelo phakathi kwamaqabane avela ngexesha lokuzibandakanya emtshatweni, njengamalungelo eetestamente, ipenshoni yebhonasi, umsebenzi wokunceda kunye nokunyaniseka, phakathi kwabanye.
Loo bond affective ukuba abantu ababini bathi bathwele umdla, ukuthetha nokulawula ngokubhekiselele kwikamva ngentlonipho, ukunyaniseka, ukuthembela kwenye, inkululeko, ubumbano, bhetyebhetye kunye nolonwabo, ebonisa uthando yonke imihla.
Ngawo onke amaxesha okuqhawulwa kwamaqhina omtshato, amaqabane anokufumana iimpawu ezahlukeneyo zokwahlukana, mhlawumbi ngokugqithisileyo kwe-melancholy, ukudandatheka kunye nokungakhuseleki okanye okunye okugqithisileyo, ukufuna ukwenza yonke into eshiywe emtshatweni, oko kukuthi. nxiba ubomi ngemizuzu.
Iimbangela zoqhawulo-mtshato
Kwimeko yezizathu ezibangela uqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukwahlukana komtshato, iintlobo ezimbini zezizathu zinokujongwa, ngaphakathi nangaphandle.
Iimbangela zangaphakathi
Olu hlobo lwesizathu lunokubangelwa ngabasetyhini kunye namadoda, banokuthi zenzeke zombini ngexesha elinye; Phakathi kwabo kukho:
- Ukungaqondi kakuhle isibini ngokwaso.
- Iimbono zobuqu zelinye lamalungu, azizinikelanga.
- Inkani ebusweni beyantlukwano eyahlukeneyo yesi sibini.
- Ukunqongophala kokukhula kunye noxanduva.
- Ukungakhathali ukwenza ubudlelwane bube ngcono.
- Ukungoneliseki komntu.
- Ikhwele elingafanelekanga okanye elicingelwayo.
- Ukungabikho kokuzithemba.
- Ingcamango ephosakeleyo yothando.
- Ukunqongophala kwenkolelo kunye nokuvunywa kweengxaki eziqhelekileyo zesi sibini.
- Okwangoku uyekile ukuthanda isibini.
- Ukuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo.
- Ngomyalelo osuka kumava angaphambili, ngokukodwa ebudeni bobuntwana.
Oonobangela bangaphandle
Kwimeko yezizathu zangaphandle, eziphazamisa ubudlelwane emtshatweni kwaye zingabangela ukwahlukana kwesibini, zikhankanywe ngezantsi:
- Iimeko ezinzima okanye eziyingxaki zomtshato kunye nobomi kuyo yonke into ebangqongileyo.
- Ubunzima obubalulekileyo bonxibelelwano phakathi kwezi zibini.
- Isiqhelo kunye nokukruquka kuyabarhintyela kwaye akukho ndlela yakuyisombulula.
- Ubundlobongela basekhaya obenziwa ngumntu omnye kwaba bantu babini, kwiqabane okanye ebantwaneni.
- Imeko enzima yobunxila okanye iziyobisi.
- Amaqela esithathu abandakanyekayo emtshatweni.
ukodlula a Uqhawulo-mtshato emva kweminyaka sihlala kunye
Ubunzima buqala xa kukho ukuphoxeka phakathi kwesibini esitshatileyo yaye sivakalelwa kukuba asinakukwazi ukuqhubeka sihlala kunye, yaye oko besikulindele omnye komnye akusenakugcinwa.
I-nucleus yentsapho yonke iyachaphazeleka kwaye ivakalelwa kukuba isijwili esiza phezu kwabo, ukususela ngaloo mzuzu i-trance iqala okumele ifundwe ukujamelana nayo kwaye ngakumbi kakhulu xa ihlukana neqhina leminyaka emininzi yokuhlalisana, apho iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha. indawo ebangqongileyo.
Kuyimfuneko ukuba ungazivaleli ngokwakho, zombini usapho kunye noncedo lobuchwephesha kufuneka lucelwe ukuba lukwazi ukuqondisa iimvakalelo kwicala elifanelekileyo. Ukuze ukwazi ukoyisa uqhawulo-mtshato emva kweminyaka yokuhlala kunye, kuyacetyiswa ukuba:
thetha ngeemvakalelo
Kuyimfuneko ukuba unxibelelane nosapho lwakho okanye abantu abakungqongileyo, oko ubandezelekayo kunye neemvakalelo zakho, ubhekisa kwinto eyenzekileyo ukuze baqonde okwenzekayo kwaye bacebise oko kukulungeleyo, nokuba ungumntu owenzayo. Isigqibo. , kuba izinto zangaphandle zibonwa ngokwahlukileyo kunaxa uyindawo ekugxilwe kuyo.
Ityala kufuneka lichazwe ukuba ngaba ngomnye wabantu ababini abenze isigqibo okanye ukuba ngaba isivumelwano phakathi kwamaqela omabini, nokuba kukho iimvakalelo zothando; ukuba sisigqibo sesibini, cacisa izizathu zokuba kutheni le nto uyiva ngokwenene iphuma kuwe kwaye ususe i-negative ukubona izinto ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
Ngamanye amazwi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba abantu abatshatileyo baqhawule umtshato nokuba baneemvakalelo ezixubeneyo, kuphela nje ukuba kukho ezinye izizathu ezingavumiyo ukuhlala ndawonye.
Yamkela indlela yokuqhawula umtshato
Kwindlela yokoyisa uqhawulo-mtshato, kubo bonke abanye abantu abakunika uncedo, kukuba uyayamkela imiqathango yakho, akuyonto imbi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zichasene neqabane lakho; kodwa ukuba ungaziva kakubi ukubona ex yakho ukubandezeleka.
Ngaloo mzuzu kuyacetyiswa ukuba wenze umthambo wokucamngca ngokwamkelwa, kubo unokuziqhelanisa nokuvuma imeko ojongene nayo ngaphandle kokufuna ukutshintsha nantoni na.
Xolela
Ngelo xesha lokuqonda ukuba omnye umntu unexesha elibi xa isigqibo sesakho, ukuziva unetyala kunokuvela xa sibona ukuba umntu uphila kakubi ngenxa yesigqibo esisithathileyo, kunokuvela ityala, kufuneka silumke kuba le mvakalelo inokutsala kwaye ingabonakali kwaye ingakuvumeli ukuba wonwabele ii-vicissitudes ezininzi.
Sisizathu sokuba umntu ngokwakhe axolelwe, kuba olo xolelo luphilisa amanxeba kwaye lunceda ngokulula ukuba uxolele abanye; konke oku kubalulekile ukuze abantu bachache ngokukhawuleza.
Ukuze ulwe nale mvakalelo yokuziva unetyala, kuhle ukubhala uluhlu olunayo yonke into ekuphatha kakubi kwaye ikutyhole uze ubhence okanye ubhengeze ukuba uzixolele ngayo yonke into eyenzekileyo okanye eyehlelayo. Olu qeqesho luya kukukholisa ukuba yonke into oyithwele njengomthwalo ayinzima njengoko kwakunjalo ngaphambili.
Enye indlela yokuphelisa ukuziva unetyala ibhekisela ekubhaleni ileta malunga naloo meko apho unokuchaza isizathu sokuba loo mvakalelo ingenakubakho ebomini bakho, ukuba isigqibo esithathiweyo sibe yingenelo kubo bonke yaye akufanelekanga ukuba sibe njalo. phakathi kobomi bakho.
Khumbula
Njengabantu unelungelo lokuqhubeka okanye ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obunokuthi bube yityhefu, into ebalulekileyo kukuba ukhumbule izizathu zokuba kutheni ubudlelwane bufikelele esiphelweni. Ukungabi nezizathu zokuphatha kakubi okanye ukuziva unetyala, kuba kule meko sele kukho iimeko.
Esi sicwangciso sinconywa xa kukho amathandabuzo, xa abanye becinga ukuba ayisosigqibo esifanelekileyo, kukulungelelaniswa nje kwimeko entsha ohlala kuyo; ukukhumbula kuya kukwenza ume ngokuqinileyo ngokubhekiselele kwinto ekuvunyelwene ngayo, ukuze ungawi okanye ube buhlungu, kungekudala yonke into iya kudlula.
Fumana kwaye uvakalise iimfuno
Uvakalelwa kukuba awukwazi ukuhlala naloo mntu kwaye awukwazi ukujamelana nayo, kodwa ekugqibeleni uyamkhumbula, ude uzive ungakhathali ngayo yonke into omele uyenze; Ziyimvakalelo yendalo kodwa kufuneka ufumane ukulinganisela, ekubeni uhlala nomntu ixesha elide, kungokwemvelo ukuba uzive ukungabikho, okuya kubuyiselwa ngamandla akho, ukungakhathali akunakuthatha ubomi bakho.
Umzuzwana imfuno iqinisiwe, ukuphazamiseka kuyeka ubunzima obuninzi kwaye ngoko ke iqala ukuyeka ukulimaza; xa uzibonisa ixabiso leemfuno zakho kuyo yonke indawo okungqongileyo, iya kuba namandla okuqhubeka nokuphila. Ukungakhathali yimvakalelo eyenza ukudakumba ngenxa yeemeko okanye amava aphilayo anokuthi aphawule umntu ukuba akakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe.
Mfundi othandekayo, sincoma inqaku elilandelayo kwi ukungakhathali apho ungafumana ulwazi oluninzi malunga neemvakalelo ezingalunganga.
bhala uthi ndlelantle
Enye yeendlela ezixhaphakileyo zokujongana nesijwili esishiywe luqhawulo-mtshato kukubhala ileta yokuvalelisa, oko kukuthi ndlela-ntle kwinto esele ngasemva nako konke ukungonwabi okwabakho ngenxa yokwahlukana. Kwindlela yokuvalelisa ungabalisa yonke into oyivayo, elungileyo nembi ngokwembono yakho.
Apho unokubulela loo mntu umthandayo, kuzo zonke izinto ezintle kunye nezo zazingekho zintle kodwa zibalulekile ukukunceda ukuba ukhule, apho unokubonisa khona izicwangciso zexesha elizayo kunye nayo yonke into oyifunayo kuloo mntu, ukufumana ukuxolelwa ukuze ukwazi ukuthetha ngaphakathi. indlela eyakhayo neyoshishino.
Iingcebiso kuQhawulo-mtshato olungalindelekanga
Uqhawulo-mtshato ekuvunyelwene ngalo lusoloko luzisa ukuzila ekufuneka kuqwalaselwe ngokuthe ngcembe, kodwa ukwahlukana okungalindelekanga, okanye ngenxa yokuba sisigqibo somntu ongatshatanga okanye akukho sicombululo, ekubeni uqhawulo-mtshato luyimfuneko, iziphumo zidla ngokudla. kuba buhlungu ngakumbi.
ungaziva unetyala
Yomibini umtshato noqhawulo-mtshato zezesibini, asingomntu, nto leyo enoxanduva lokuphelisa umtshato, ukuthandana nokuhloniphana nangexesha apho kukho ukwahlukana.
Yehlisa umoya
Musa ukuba nosizi kuba ungafuni ukuba bakubone ukhala, kufuneka ukhale kuba umphefumlo uhlanjululwa ngolo hlobo; kuba yintlungu engayi kuhlala ilandelelana ngalo lonke ixesha, ngenxa yobunzima obunokubakho, unokuphinda ubuyele kwiimvakalelo, kufuneka ulumke kuba akukho lula ukoyisa uqhawulo-mtshato.
Oku kuphindaphindwa kukuxhathisa okunokuthi kwenzeke ngeentsuku ezahlukeneyo ezibalulekileyo njengesikhumbuzo, imihla yokuzalwa, iKrisimesi, iiholide zikatata okanye zikamama; ekubeni iyimibhiyozo eya kuvelisa iinkumbulo ezinzulu, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba ziziqendu zendalo ezenzekayo, kufuneka ubone ukuba ziya kudlula kungekudala kwaye ziya kuba ziinkumbulo ezintle.
Yamkela imeko
Kuyimfuneko ukuba iziphumo zoqhawulo-mtshato zinokwamkelwa endaweni yokuba ziziphike, ziyinyani kwaye nangakumbi xa phakathi kwesibini esinye sesibini singasaziva ngokufanayo; inyaniso kufuneka yamkelwe.
Kufuneka ulahle amaxesha ayephila ukuba ulonwabo ukuze uqhubele phambili, ngaphandle koko uya kuba kwisangqa sentlungu nobukrakra. Ukujonga phambili nokuqhubela phambili akukho lula, kodwa akunakwenzeka nako. Sukucinga ukuba wonwabile kuphela ngenxa yokuba unaye loo mntu ecaleni kwakho, ukuxhomekeka akuyomvakalelo ephilileyo kwezo meko zoqhawulo-mtshato.
Mfundi othandekayo, sikumema ngokufudumeleyo ukuba ulandele, ungene kwaye ufunde inqaku elilandelayo malunga indlela yokoyisa ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uya kuba nako ukuqonda ngakumbi ngakumbi ngalo mbandela.
kuthanda ukufunda
Yimeko enzima kwisibini esitshatileyo kodwa ngamava ekumele afaniswe ukuze afunde indlela yokoyisa uqhawulo-mtshato emva kweminyaka sihlala kunye, nokuba luhle okanye lubi; ekubeni le miba iya kunika amava okukhula kwaye ingabuyeli emva nangona yayingomnye umntu owenza isigqibo sokwahlukana.
Yahlula imibono kwizinto zokwenyani
Yaye isibini asifanele sibe neenjongo ezintle, kuba singabantu abenza iimpazamo nabanokusilela, ngokwenjenjalo bawisa phantsi ulindelo lwaloo nto bebeyiphupha nento enokwenzeka.
Musa ukudlala ixhoba
Kwaye awukwazi ukuziva ucaphukile okanye umthiyile loo mntu ubumthanda, ubumthanda kwaye nichithe ixesha elininzi kunye; inyaniso yahlukile, ayikubek’ ityala omnye umphefumlo, oko akukuncedi ngokweemvakalelo kuba unokwenza umfanekiso bhanyabhanya onokuthi ngomsindo ongaka, ukholwe kwaye unokugula ngenxa yokungajongani neenyani.
Guqula intsingiselo yobomi bakho
Ubomi buyaqhubeka kwaye unelungelo lokuzilungisa kwakhona kwaye wonwabe, ukubona izinto kwelinye icala, ukonwabela ubomi kwaye ubulele uThixo ngayo yonke into oye waphila kuyo noko kufuneka uphile ukusukela ngoku, uzive wonwabile kwaye wonelisiwe ngayo yonke into ezayo kwaye unqwenele ukuba ubungenakwenza.
Yonwabela into ekwenza wonwabe
Kwimeko yokuba nabantwana emtshatweni, kufuneka ubulele ngabo abaziziqhamo zolo thando lukhulu kwaye babesemaphupheni ababewacwangcisile, eyinjini ephambili yokuqhubeka.
Kufuneka ubulele ngomsebenzi wakho, kuba into oyenzayo iya kuba yenye inkuthazo yokuqhubela phambili ekubeni uxanduva olwahlukeneyo kunye nezibophelelo ziya kukwenza uphumle kwaye ulibale ngemeko oye wadibana nayo. Ngendlela efanayo, ufanele umbulele uThixo ngentsapho ekungqongileyo ukuze ikuthuthuzele kunye nabo bahlobo abangazange bakushiye wedwa ukuze bakuncede uqhawule umtshato.