Kunzima ukwahlukana nothando xa ukuzinikezela kuye kwaba kuhle, ngenxa yesi sizathu kweli nqaku siza kukunika iindlela indlela yokulibala uthando kwaye ungaweli kuxinzelelo, ungaphoswa.
Xa isibini sahlukana kungenxa yokuba iimeko sele zidlulile ezichaza ukuphela kobudlelwane.
Indlela yokulibala uthando?
Yinto eqinileyo ukungayazi indlela yokulibala uthando olungenakwenzeka oko kushiya umkhondo, okubi nangakumbi ukuba loo manqaku akhuthazayo, ovuyo nokukhula kodwa ekugqibeleni akuzange kubekho kuvumelana okanye nje ulwalamano lwalungenakulungelelana.
Ngokufuthi, xa ulwalamano lufikelela esiphelweni, kungenxa yokuba baye batyhubela uthotho lwamanqanaba akhokelela ekuphoxekeni; sisizathu, apho ukuhlukana ngokuqhelekileyo kubuhlungu, kodwa ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva kuya kuba nako ukunqoba elo xesha libi.
Kwimeko yokuba uthando alubuyiselwa, lubangela intlungu eninzi, kuba umntu xa ethandane, unqwenela ukubuyiselwa ngokunyanisekileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, imithetho yentliziyo ayibonwanga kwangaphambili kwaye amabali amaninzi awasifumani eso siphelo sifanelekileyo engqondweni yesithandwa, ngokuthanda, kukho amandla angapheliyo okukwazi ukoyisa le ntlungu ngenxa yokuba oku kuphoxeka akukho ngonaphakade, kodwa sisithuba sexesha elizayo. . .
Mfundi othandekayo, siyakumema ukuba ulandele inqaku lethu indlela yokoyisa ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uya kwazi ngakumbi kancinci ngalo mbandela.
isiqholo sothando
Uthando yimvakalelo entsonkothileyo apho kukho izinto eziphilayo kunye nezemfundo; Xa utsalwa komnye umntu, ingqondo iyahluka kwaye uchungechunge lweempendulo zemichiza luyacatshukiswa, njengesiqholo sothando ngaphakathi, ngokusisiseko kwintsimi yokomeleza, ecinga utshintsho kwimbono yehlabathi.
Ivumba lothando liya kuzingisa kwaye linokudimaza ukuba le mvakalelo inamandla okanye uxinzelelo alukwazi ukugqitywa, ukulawula ukuguqula ubomi kwisihogo esipheleleyo.
Uthando olugqibeleleyo lukuvumela ukuba uzive wanelisekile kuba uvuselela ingqondo ukuba ikhulule i-dopamine, i-serotonin, i-oxytocin phakathi kwamanye ama-neurotransmitters kunye namahomoni; sesona sizathu sisenza sizive sonwabile, sizele yintando kunye noxabiso lobomi lukhulu xa sihlala neqabane lethu.
Kodwa xa olu lwalamano lungenakwenzeka ukuhlala okanye ukuba neqabane lethu ebesifuna ukuba nalo kakhulu, ivumba le-perfume lifika kwaye livuselele iingxaki ezinzulu zokhuseleko lweemvakalelo.
Oko kukuthi, ixabiso le-serotonin liyancipha, elinxulumene noxinzelelo kunye nokuziphatha okugqithisileyo, okufana nokwenzekayo xa uyeka ukusebenzisa into okhobokileyo kuyo.
Iingcebiso zokulibala uthando olungenakwenzeka
Ayikokwaphuka kwentliziyo kodwa amahla-ndinyuka ayenzeka kwesi sibini kwaye ngumba wesibini ukoyisa; kodwa ukuba omnye wabantu akazimiselanga ukoyisa amadabi njengesibini, sele kukho ikhefu kuthando oluxeliweyo.
Abaninzi benza isigqibo sokuhamba iintsuku ezimbalwa yaye xa beziva bengento yanto, babuye bazame ukucombulula ingxaki; Kodwa xa iintsuku kunye neentsuku zihamba kwaye ungamboni umntu obuyayo, kungenxa yokuba akazange abe nawe ngokwenene. Kulapho uthando olungenakwenzeka luzalwa khona, ukuqhubeka ulindile kwaye ukhangele okanye umise ngoku, nantoni na isigqibo, yinkqubo ebuhlungu echaphazela ngokweemvakalelo impilo yengqondo.
Musa ukulinda
Yenza isigqibo sokulibala uthando olungathandekiyo lubalulekile kwaye uqaphele ukuba ixesha otyale kulo kwaye ulinde omnye umntu, yilahleko kuwe, ekubeni kufuneka ulinde kuphela, ngelixa loo mntu eqhubeka nobomi bakhe, enyanisweni. ukuba akabuyanga kungenxa yokuba esenzile isigqibo sakhe.
Musa ukulinda kwakhona, thatha ikratshi kunye nesidima ukuze bangathathi ithuba lokuthobeka kunye nothando lokwenene, lixesha lokuqhubeka nobomi, kuba lihle kwaye lifutshane kakhulu. Lixesha lakho, ixesha lokuhamba, ukuze ungayiboni into emelwa nguloo mntu, singasathethi ke ngokubona ubuso bakhe.
Kuya kuba nezinto ezininzi ezikuzisa ezo nkumbulo ezisekelwe kwiimeko zangempela okanye ezicingelwayo, ukususela ngaloo mzuzu unokuqalisa ukukhungatheka, ukukhumbula kunye nokufuna ukuzivuselela; yima kwaye ulwe nawe, ekulawuleni iingcinga kuyafuneka, yalela ingqondo ukuba ilibale, kuba ukuzithemba kwakho kubaluleke kakhulu.
yamkele
Akulula ukwamkela xa uthando lungenakwenzeka, yinxalenye yokukhula njengomntu omdala, kufuneka wenze ntoni; Kufuneka wamkele imeko apho uphantsi kwamanzi, oku akuthethi ukuba akunakulimaza, ewe, kwaye kuninzi, kodwa kuya kwenzeka, ungavumeli ukuba uhlale ubambelele kwiintlungu kunye nokubandezeleka.
Yindlela yokukwazi ukuqhubela phambili kwaye woyise intlungu yokulibala uthando, wamkele inyani, ukuba awuyamkeli uya kuba ugubungela inyani kuphela.
thetha nabanye abantu
Kwimeko yokuziva ukuba uyatshona kwaye awukwazi ukujongana neentlungu ezininzi wedwa, kuyafuneka ukuba uthethe nomnye umntu, nokuba lilungu losapho, umhlobo okanye ingcali kwindawo, kodwa ungayigcini kuwe. .
Awuyi kupapasha kuye wonke umntu odibana naye endleleni, kodwa kufuneka ukhethe umntu ofanelekileyo oya kukwazi ukumamela kunye nokuhamba nawe kule duel yothando kwaye uya kukunceda ukhulule intlungu, uthembele loo mntu.
Qhubeka uzithande
Ukoyisa le meko yongquzulwano kuyimfuneko ukuba ungakhubazeki kwaye uqhubeke phambili, uqhubeke nobomi bakho kwaye ufune okuncinci; zibekele usukelo lokuqalisa ukunika ubomi bakho indlela eyahlukileyo kwaye kufuneka wenze namaphupha akho kunye neminqweno.
Ufuna okuncinci ngakumbi kuba ukuba unikezela, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukoyisa imeko yothando ozifumana ucwile kuyo; nxulumana ngakumbi, ukuhamba, umthambo, kunye nezinye izinto, umbono kukugcina uxakekile. Awunatyala ngobomi bakho ngenxa yothando olungahambelani nawe kwaye olungakunikanga ixabiso elikufaneleyo.
Mfundi othandekayo, sikumema ngembeko ukuba ulandele inqaku lethu malunga ne i-amotivational syndrome kwaye uya kuba nako ukwazi ngakumbi kancinci malunga nomxholo weemvakalelo.
Musa ukuxuba intlungu kunye nentlungu
Xa uthando lungenamvisiswano lubuhlungu, nangona kunjalo, xa uyonwaba kuzo zonke izinto eziphelelisiweyo zento eyenzekileyo, ubandezeleka ngenxa yokuba awufuni ukuqhubela phambili ngokunxulumene nokucinga malunga nokuba bekunokwenzeka kwaye bekungenjalo.
Eyona nto ilungileyo kukukhumbula iinkcukacha ezikwenza ube lusizi ngaloo mntu; kwimeko yokungafumani nasiphi na isiphene, cinga ukuba uyifezekisile. Ukuba umntu akakuxabisi kwaye engengowakho, sisizathu esinokukunika isibindi sokusuka kude ngoba ukuqhubeka kwakwindawo enye kuko okuza kukwenza wehle kakhulu.
Vala amehlo akho kwelo themba lobuxoki kwaye uphile ngokwenyani, ukuba loo mntu uyakuthanda ngokufanayo okanye ngaphezulu, akayi kukushiya. Sukufukamela into engeke yenzeke, uzinika ithemba lobuxoki.
Lungiselela imvakalelo
Akukhuthazwa ukuba uphulaphule ngentliziyo, kukuqiqa, ngokuba intliziyo inenkohliso; Thetha nezalamane zakho zithi hlukana naloo mntu, sukujonga abo bakuncedayo ubandezeleke.
Fumana abo bantu bakuthandayo kwaye abafuni ukukubona ubandezeleka, ngoko ke qala ukulungelelanisa iimvakalelo zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho ukuze ungabuyeli ngasemva, abo bafuna okulungileyo ebomini bakho yinxalenye yesizathu.
Izizathu zokushiya uthando
Kukho amaxesha apho umntu angaziva evalelwe kubudlelwane apho angaziva ekhululekile, yimeko enzima xa isibini singakhathali ngothando kwaye sixhomekeke kubudlelwane, singavumeli omnye umntu ukuba ahambe, ezohlwaya ngokwabo ehlupheka ecaleni lakhe.
Ukungatsaleleki komnye umntu
Ukwabelana ngesondo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yomanyano njengesibini, ayimeli isiqingatha, ihambelana ukuya kuthi ga kwi-70% yobudlelwane; Ngokuyeka ukuziva ubophelelekile kuloo mzuzu osondeleyo, ukugqabhuka kuqinisekileyo, ngoko ke kuyimfuneko ukucinga kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokungabopheli omnye umntu.
Okwangoku ukuba umtsalane wesondo phakathi kwesi sibini ulahlekile, imeko inamandla; kodwa ukuba ichasene, yonke into ihamba kunye, unokufikelela kwinqanaba eliphakathi kunye nokusombulula imeko.
xa ingelothando
Xa umntu ewela kwimvakalelo yothando, kunye nomkhwa, uziva ephantsi kwamanzi apho angaziva khona, yinto enzima, ekubeni umntu engaluphindisi uthando kwaye uziva ebanjwe kukoyika ukuwa okanye ukuziva yedwa. , ebophelela omnye umntu ekubandezelekeni okufanayo.
Unokuchitha ixesha elininzi ngolu hlobo, ungazivumeli ukuba ushiywe wedwa, awukwazi ukuqhubeka nobomi, ulinde utshintsho olungenayo kwaye yonke into ingaba nzima. Olu hlobo lwemeko kufuneka luchongwe ukuze lukwazi ukuthi bye, lukrwada kodwa yeyona nto inempilo, ekubeni iimeko ezingafanelekanga ukuba zenzeke njengoko izibini zinokuthintelwa.
Inkohliso
Kwizihlandlo ezininzi, ubuqhetseba sesona sizathu sokwahlukana, ekubeni ziziporho ezingenakupheliswa ukuba umntu akafuni ukutyhila iphepha.
Ukuphoxeka kunye nokulahlwa okunokuthi kube khona phakathi kwezi zibini zingena phakathi, ukuba kukho ukudelela kunye nesizathu asizange sithethelele, zonke iingcamango zihlangene kunye nesiphelo sivela, ukungcatshwa.
Kubuhlungu xa kuzaliseka, eyona nto ingcono kakhulu isibini esinokuyenza, ukuba akukho tshintsho, ukwahlukana, ukuphepha umonakalo ongakumbi kwiimvakalelo zombini.