Emashumini eminyaka amuva nje, kuye kwasabalala ukuqwashisa okuqinile emhlabeni wonke mayelana nokunqanda ukuphathwa kabi kwabesifazane. Kodwa abantu abavamile abazi njalo ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani. Lapha sizokhuluma ngakho ungasiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe.
Ungamsiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe?
Ukukhathazeka kokuqala okusihluphayo ezimweni ezingase zokuhlukumeza wukukhathazeka kokwenza ngendlela engafanele, ukufunda kabi isimo ngezinto eziningi ezicashile. UmSamariya Olungile angagcina eyisivakashi esicasulayo esidala ukucasuka nezingxabano lapho bezingekho khona ekuqaleni, okungenani zingafiki ezingeni eliphakanyisiwe.
Ngakho-ke, ngaphandle kwengozi yokuwela ekumangaleleni okungamanga, kumelwe sikhumbule izimpawu ezithile eziyisisekelo zokuthi empeleni umuntu oseduze uphathwa kabi ukuze afunde. ungasiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe. Enye yazo, ekha phezulu kakhulu, wushintsho oluthile esithombeni sakho somzimba.
Indlela yakho yokugqoka kungenzeka ukuthi isimpunga kakhulu futhi ingaphansi, ngemva kokuba nemikhuba eminingi yokwethula ewubukhazikhazi. Lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka ngokwemiyalo yomhlukumezi, ongazibekezeleli izingubo zokugqoka izinkanuko ngokubabheka njengokucasulwa abanye abantu besilisa ngomlingani wabo. Kungase futhi kubonakale kwezinye izici zobuhle, njengezinwele ezibuthuntu noma eziqoqiwe kanye nokungabikho kwe-lipstick, okwakuvamile ngaphambili.
Esinye isici okufanele sibuyekezwe isimo sengqondo esivamile sowesifazane okukhulunywa ngaye. Ingabonakala njengomuntu obonakala enongqimba lokuwohloka kokucindezeleka phezu kolunye ungqimba lokukhathazeka okukhulu, ngemva kokuba umuntu oshisekayo futhi onomoya ophansi. Uma lesi simo sengqondo sibi kakhulu phambi komlingani wabo, sihambisana nesimo esithile sephrofayili ephansi nokuzithoba, kungase kube uphawu lokuhlukumeza.
Isimo sokubusa kungenzeka ukuthi siye saba sikhulu kangangokuthi sinciphisa kakhulu ukuxhumana kwabo nendawo ezungezile. Khona-ke singabona ushintsho emikhubeni yabo yokuphuma, ngokungabibikho njalo nokuqhelelana nabantu ababalulekile, njengomkhaya nabangane abangahlukaniseki. Kungaba yinjwayelo futhi ukuthi, uma kuhlongozwa umcimbi wokuzijabulisa, ngokuvamile baveze isidingo sokubonisana nophathina wabo ngaphambi kokuthatha isinqumo.
Yiqiniso, isixwayiso esibomvu ezimweni eziningi singase sibe khona kokulimala ezingxenyeni ezihlukahlukene zomzimba, okunzima ukuzichaza. Izikhathi eziningi izaba ezesabekayo zowesifazane oshayiwe ngenxa yokulimala noma ukuklwejwa ngokuvamile ziwuphawu lokuhlukunyezwa okuye kwafinyelela ezingeni lokwenza isisulu sakhe sizizwe sinecala ngokulinyazwa.
Kuvidiyo elandelayo yesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Isabel Menéndez Benavente, ukujula okwengeziwe kunikezwa ekuhlonzeni isimo sokuhlukumeza kanye ungasiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe
Ukuqhubeka kokuhlukumeza
Kodwa ufika kanjani kuleli phuzu? Ezikhathini eziningi, owesifazane ohlukunyeziwe uqokwa ngemva kweqiniso ngokungaqapheli izimpawu ezisobala zokuhlukunyezwa ngumlingani wakhe. Ukuqhubekela phambili okunensayo okukhona ngaphakathi kokuguquguquka kobudlelwane, ukusuka ebudlelwaneni obunothando kuya ebudloveni basekhaya, akunakwa.
Mhlawumbe kuyinto efana nokwenzeka emazweni amaningi angena ebushiqela ngeminyaka yokuguguleka kwezikhungo. Njengoba kungeyona inqubo elandelwayo, izakhamizi zinezinkinga zokusabela, ukulala ngaphakathi kohlelo olubekiwe. Owesifazane naye uhlala ngaphansi kokuphathwa kabi, evikelekile ngokwengqondo eminyakeni yokuqala emihle yokulingana futhi aze azisole ngokungasazisi ngokwanele isimo sakhe.
Okunye ukuziphatha okwenza kube nzima ukusabela ekuhlukunyezweni ngisho nokukukhomba, ukunyakaza kwe-pendulum okungaguquki phakathi komonakalo omkhulu kanye nemibukiso emnandi yokuphenduka nothando. Ukunyakaza okuvame kakhulu phakathi kwama-narcissists kanye nazo zonke izinhlobo zama-manipulators anezimo zengqondo ezivame ukubusa.
Lokhu kudala ukuguquguquka okuhlanekezelwe lapho isijeziso singamukelwa ngokungazi ngokulindela okuluthayo kokubuyisana okulandelanayo, okungenathemba okungenathemba. Kulezi zimo zokubusa okuhlukumezayo, izinto zithatha isici esiyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunaleso sokwesaba okulula.
Amathiphu amaningi okuthi ungasiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe
Ukungena ngisho nakancane kulokhu okuguquguqukayo ukuze ukholise owesifazane ocatshangelwe ukuphaphama ngesimo sakhe kungase kube ntekenteke kakhulu. Umngane wethu, udadewethu, indodakazi yethu noma umuntu esimaziyo angayenqaba ukusondela ngokuvala ngisho nangokwengeziwe nesitha sabo esingamenyezelwa, aphile amaphupho okuba wedwa ngokumelene nezwe elinobutha. Noma ukuhlukunyezwa kungase kube kubi nakakhulu, isisulu sisolwe ngokukhaphela ngokuqala ukuxhumana Akugunyaziwe.
Isu lethu lingaba nezinhloso ezinhle ngendlela esifuna ngayo futhi lisahlehla emzamweni wabo. Njengoba kungenakwenzeka ukubikezela imininingwane yecala ngalinye ukuze sikhulume ngamaqhinga anembayo, singafingqa ezinye izindlela ezijwayelekile okufanele zisetshenziswe ngokujwayelekile lapho sizithola sikuzimo zodlame olungapheli olubhekiswe kwabesifazane.
dala isikhala
Indlela elula futhi enamandla ukuvula izikhala zomuntu siqu lapho abesifazane bengaziveza khona ngokukhululeka. Kafushane ngikutshele ukuthi noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka onakho singakulalelwa yithi, ukuze sithole isixazululo.
Futhi chaza iziteshi esaziyo ukuthi ziphephile kulokhu kuxhumana okungase kube khona, ngokusebenzisa uhlelo lokusebenza lwemiyalezo evikelekile noma ngokuvakashela indawo evamile, indawo yokuzilibazisa noma ukuvivinya umzimba, umhlukumezi abengenakukusola.
Kubalulekile kulokhu kuxhumana kokuqala ukuthi owesifazane azizwe ephelezelwa ngempela futhi esekelwe. Ngisho noma kungakabi isikhathi sakho sokuthatha isinyathelo, uqinisekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ubani ongancika kuye uma usuzizwa ufanelekile.
Ukwengeza, ukuhlukaniswa kwakhe okuphelele kufanele kugwenywe, ngokuphikelela kwethu ukuphuma futhi sikhulume naye, konke lokhu ngaphansi kokunakekelwa kwenethiwekhi yokusekela eyakhiwe abangani, umndeni noma omakhelwane. Ukuthintana kufanele kugcinwe njalo, njengoba okuhlangenwe nakho okungaphandle kwebhamuza lengcindezelo kusiza ekugcineni kukwephule, kuveze iqiniso.
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya kungenziwa abantu abanezinkinga ezijulile zobuntu, njenge-narcissism kanye nobuntu obungahambisani nomphakathi.
khuluma wedwa
Kuzofika isikhathi lapho ukuvulwa kwezikhala kuzodala izikhathi zokukhulumisana nowesifazane oshayiwe. Le ngxoxo kufanele yenziwe ngobuhlakani obukhulu nozwela, ukuqonda kuzo zonke izinyathelo inqubo yokucabanga nomkhuba owaholela umngane wethu esimweni sakhe, ngaphandle kokwahlulela kokuziphatha kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo. Kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa imizwa yabo futhi unikeze ukwethembeka endabeni yabo.
Umqondo wowesifazane ohlukunyezwe isikhathi eside, futhi oseqalile ukukhuphuka emgodini, ngokuvamile uyintaba-mlilo yobuhlungu, uthando oluphikisanayo, intukuthelo yokwesaba futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke amahloni. Amahloni okuthi usenayo imizwa ngomhlukumezi, ngenxa yokuthi akenzanga lutho, ngokwenqaba noma ubani owayezama ukusiza, phakathi kwezinye izinto eziningi. Yonke le mizwelo kumelwe iqondwe futhi iqondiswe phakathi nenkulumo.
Imibono engakhululekile esizophoqelelwa ukuba siyiveze kufanele ishiwo ngothando nangokuthambile, ungalokothi njengecala. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, indlela evamile elandelwa abahlukumezi bokubusa kufanele idalulwe ngokushesha, ukwenza umngane wethu abone ukuthi akayedwa kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, ukuthi akekho okhululiwe ngempela kuyo uma kubhekwa izimo ezithile nokuthi kunezindlela zokuvala umjikelezo. .
Xhumana nezingcweti
Uma kufika isikhathi sokuthatha izinyathelo eziqondile zokunqamula umjikelezo oyingozi wokuhlukumeza, kufanele sicabangele ukulinganiselwa kwethu njengezakhamuzi ezingenalwazi mayelana nokuphepha nokuba semthethweni. Owesifazane ofuna ukubalekela ukuhlukunyezwa nguye osengozini enkulu kakhulu. Akakaze abe sengozini enkulu kulo lonke ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo. Futhi ingozi yokubulawa kwabesifazane ibukeka imbi kakhulu kulolu hlobo lwamacala.
Ngakho-ke, isimo singasheshe siphume esandleni. Kudingeka esigabeni esijulile sokungenelela kwethu ukusiza owesifazane othintekile ukuthi aye ezinhlanganweni ezikhethekile zokunakekela isisulu sodlame lwasekhaya, njengezinsizakalo zezenhlalakahle kanye nosizo olusemthethweni lodlame olusekelwe kubulili.
Izinhlelo ezinjalo kuzoba yizo ezinganikeza ukwesekwa okubalulekile ukuze kuqala kuhlanganiswe uhlelo lokuvikela, ukunikeza usizo olusheshayo noma ukuqinisekisa ukuphunyuka kwabesifazane ezikhathini ezimbi kakhulu.
Ngokunjalo, lezi zinsizakalo zizokwazi ukuqondisa ngempumelelo ecaleni lomthetho elingase libhekane nomhlukumezi, ukuvimbela ngendlela ephoqayo izindlela zabo, noma ukuqeda ubuhlobo ngezinqubo zesikhungo, uma kwenzeka umshado.
Ukwengeza, ama-ejensi osizo azokwazi ukuchaza ukwelashwa kwengqondo njalo nochwepheshe, ngesikhathi nangemva kokunqoba isimo sokuhlukumeza, ukugcina imiphumela yayo engenakugwemeka ngaphansi kokulawula.
Isiphetho sokuthi ungasiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe
Ngeshwa, ukuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane ngophathina babo kube yinkinga enkulu yezempilo yomphakathi emhlabeni jikelele. Amaphesenti okuhlukunyezwa okuvunywe abesifazane ocwaningweni aphakeme njengenani labesifazane abanesibindi sokukhalaza, ngenxa yesiko elivamile lokuthula.
Isimo esiwubhubhane kusukela ngo-2020 kuya phambili sesenze isimo esinzima saba sibi kakhulu, okuphoqa ukuthi uhlale isikhathi eside ekhaya phakathi kwabantu abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka nentukuthelo. Umphumela uba ukwanda okubi kokuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya, kokubili kwabesifazane nezingane. Kokubili ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nangokwezwi nangokwengqondo, kulimaza ngokulinganayo.
Ngale kwezikhungo ezenza uphenyo, ziveze usizo futhi zisakaze isijeziso kulabo abathintekayo, wonke umphakathi kufanele uzithathe njengenethiwekhi yokusekela nokunqanda ukuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya. Wonke umakhelwane, umlingani kanye nomngani kumele banake inhlalakahle yabesifazane abasondelene nabo, balungele ukubacacisela futhi baphushe abakudingayo ukuze babone isimo sabo futhi baphume kuso ngesibindi.
Kuze kube manje indatshana yethu nge ungasiza kanjani owesifazane oshayiwe. Uma ube nentshisekelo kulo mbhalo, cishe uzokuthola kuwusizo ukufunda lokhu okunye okuzinikele ekuhloleni izici zombhangqwana onempilo. Kuphela ngokugcina umyalo onempilo lapho sizobona khona ngokuqhathanisa uhlelo olugulayo lokulwa nalo. Landela isixhumanisi!
