Kunzima ukuhlukana nothando lapho ukuzinikezela kube kukhulu, ngenxa yalesi sizathu kulesi sihloko sizokunikeza amasu we ukukhohlwa kanjani uthando futhi ungaweli ekucindezelekeni, ungaphuthelwa.
Uma abashadile behlukana kungenxa yokuthi izimo sezidlulile ezichaza ukuphela kobudlelwane.
Ungakhohlwa kanjani uthando?
Kuyinto eqinile ukungazi indlela yokukhohlwa uthando olungenakwenzeka lokho kushiya imikhondo, okubi nakakhulu uma lezo zimpawu zinezimo ezinhle, zenjabulo nokukhula kodwa ukuthi ekupheleni kwesimo kwakungekho ukuvumelana noma nje ubuhlobo bungenakulinganiswa.
Imvamisa, uma ubudlelwano bufika esiphethweni, kungenxa yokuthi sebedlule uchungechunge lwezigaba eziholele ekudumazekeni; kuyisizathu, lapho ukuhlukana kuvame ukuba buhlungu, kodwa ngokushesha noma kamuva kuzokwazi ukunqoba leso sikhathi esibi.
Uma uthando lungabuyiselwana ludala ukuhlupheka ngoba umuntu uma ethanda usuke efisa ukuphindiselwa ngobuqotho.
Kodwa-ke, imithetho yenhliziyo ayilindelekile futhi izindaba eziningi azisitholi leso siphetho esihle engqondweni yesithandwa, kuhle, kukhona amandla angapheli okuqina ukuze anqobe lobu buhlungu ngoba lokhu kudumazeka akukhona unomphela, kodwa indawo yokudalelwa. . .
Mfundi othandekayo, sikumema ukuthi ulandele isihloko sethu indlela yokunqoba ukuncika ngokomzwelo futhi uzokwazi okwengeziwe ngale ndaba.
amakha othando
Uthando umuzwa oyinkimbinkimbi lapho kukhona okuguquguqukayo kwezinto eziphilayo kanye nezemfundo; Uma ukhangwa omunye umuntu, ubuchopho buyahlukahluka futhi uchungechunge lokusabela kwamakhemikhali luyacasulwa, njengamakha othando ngaphakathi, ngokuyisisekelo emkhakheni wokuqinisa, ophethe ushintsho ekuboneni umhlaba.
Iphunga lothando liyaphikelela futhi lingase lidumaze uma lo mzwelo onamandla noma ukucindezela kungenakuqedwa, ukwazi ukuguqula ukuphila kube isihogo esiphelele.
Uthando oluphelele lukuvumela ukuthi uzizwe unelisekile ngoba lukhuthaza ubuchopho ukuthi bukhulule i-dopamine, i-serotonin, i-oxytocin phakathi kwamanye ama-neurotransmitters nama-hormone; yisona sizathu esenza sizizwe sijabule, sigcwele intando kanye nokwazisa impilo kuhle uma sihlala nomlingani wethu.
Kodwa lapho lobu buhlobo bungenakwenzeka ukuhlala noma ukuba nomlingani wethu esiye safuna ukuba naye kakhulu, iphunga lamakha liyafika futhi libangele izinkinga ezinkulu zokulondeka ngokomzwelo.
Okusho ukuthi, amanani e-serotonin ayancipha, ahlobene nokuziphatha okucindezelayo nokucabangelayo, okufana nalokho okwenzekayo lapho uyeka ukudla into oyisigqila sayo.
Izincomo zokukhohlwa uthando olungenakwenzeka
Akukhona ukudabuka kwenhliziyo kodwa ukukhuphuka nokwehla okwenzeka kwabashadile futhi kuyindaba emibili ukuyinqoba; kodwa uma omunye wabantu engazimisele ngokunqoba izimpi njengombhangqwana, sekuvele kunekhefu othandweni olwake lwasho.
Abaningi benza isinqumo sokuhamba izinsuku ezimbalwa futhi lapho bezizwa bengenalutho, bayabuya futhi bazame ukuxazulula inkinga; Kodwa uma izinsuku nezinsuku zihamba futhi ungamboni lowo muntu ebuya, yingoba ubengakaze abe nawe ngempela. Kulapho uthando olungenakwenzeka luzalwa khona, ukuqhubeka nokulinda nokulubheka noma ukuyeka manje, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isinqumo siyini, kuyinqubo ebuhlungu ethinta impilo yengqondo ngokomzwelo.
Ungalindi
Yenza isinqumo sokukhohlwa uthando olungenasisekelo sibalulekile futhi uqaphele ukuthi isikhathi osifakile ekubeni futhi ulinde lowo muntu, siwukulahlekelwa kuwe, njengoba bekumele ulinde, kuyilapho lowo muntu eqhubeka nokuphila kwakhe, empeleni. uma engabuyi yingoba esesithathile isinqumo.
Ungabe usalinda, ziqhenye nesithunzi ukuze bangasebenzisi ukuthobeka kwakho nothando lweqiniso, sekuyisikhathi sokuqhubeka nempilo, ngoba yinhle futhi ifushane kakhulu. Yisikhathi sakho, isikhathi sokuhamba, ukuthi awuboni ukuthi lowo muntu umeleni, ingasaphathwa eyokubona ubuso bakhe.
Kuyoba nezinto eziningi ezikulethela lezo zinkumbulo ezisekelwe ezimweni zangempela noma ezicatshangelwayo, kusukela ngaleso sikhathi ungaqala ukukhungatheka, ukhumbule futhi ufune ukuzivuselela; sukuma ulwe nawe, ekulawuleni imicabango kuyadingeka, yala ubuchopho ukuthi ukhohlwe, ngoba ukuzethemba kwakho kubaluleke kakhulu.
kwamukele
Akulula ukwamukela uma uthando lungenakwenzeka, luyingxenye yokukhula njengomuntu omdala, okumele ukwenze; Kumele wamukele isimo ocwiliswe kuso, lokhu akusho ukuthi ngeke kubuhlungu, yebo, futhi kuningi, kodwa kuzokwenzeka, ungavumeli ukuhlala ubambelele ebuhlungu nokuhlupheka.
Kuyindlela yokukwazi ukuqhubekela phambili futhi unqobe ubuhlungu bokukhohlwa uthando, wamukele iqiniso, uma ungalamukeli uzobe uvala iqiniso kuphela.
khuluma nabanye abantu
Uma unomuzwa wokuthi uminza futhi awukwazi ukuphatha ubuhlungu obuningi uwedwa, kuyadingeka ukuthi ukhulume nomunye umuntu, kungaba ilungu lomndeni, umngane noma uchwepheshe endaweni, kodwa ungakugcini kuwe. .
Ngeke wenze incwadi kuwo wonke umuntu ohlangana naye endleleni, kodwa kufanele ukhethe umuntu ofanelekayo ozokwazi ukulalela futhi akuphelezele kule duel yothando futhi uzokusiza ukukhulula ubuhlungu, umethemba lowo muntu.
Qhubeka uzithande
Ukuze unqobe lesi simo sokungqubuzana kuyadingeka ukuthi ungakhubazeki futhi uqhubeke uye phambili, landela impilo yakho futhi ufune okwengeziwe; zibekele imigomo yokuqala ukunikeza impilo yakho indlela ehlukile futhi ihlobene namaphupho nezifiso zakho.
Ufuna okuncanyana ngoba uma uncama, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukunqoba isimo sothando ozithola ucwile kuso; hlanganyela kakhulu, ukuhamba, ukuzivocavoca, nezinye izinto, umqondo uwukugcina umatasa. Awukweleti impilo yakho ngothando olungahambisani nawe futhi olungakunikezi inani elikufanele.
Mfundi othandekayo, sikumema ngenhlonipho ukuthi ulandele indatshana yethu mayelana ne i-amotivational syndrome futhi uzokwazi ukwazi okwengeziwe ngendaba yemizwa.
Ungahlanganisi ubuhlungu nobuhlungu
Uma uthando lungehlanganisi kubuhlungu, nokho, lapho ujabulela konke okuhambisana nokwenzekile, uyahlupheka ngoba awufuni ukuya phambili maqondana nokucabanga ngalokho obekungenzeka noma obekungenjalo.
Okungcono kakhulu ukukhumbula imininingwane ekwenza udabuke ngalowo muntu; uma ungatholi sici, cabanga ukuthi ukucacisile. Uma lowo muntu engakuqapheli futhi engeyena owakho, yisona sizathu esingakunika isibindi sokusuka ngoba ukuqhubeka ngaso leso sikhathi yikho okuzokwenza wehle kakhulu.
Vala amehlo akho kulelo themba elingamanga futhi uphile iqiniso, uma lowo muntu ekuthanda ngendlela efanayo noma ngaphezulu, ngeke akulahle. Ungafukameli into engeke yenzeke, uzinika ithemba elingamanga.
Hlela umuzwa
Akufanelekile ukulalela inhliziyo kodwa ukucabanga, ngoba inhliziyo iyakhohlisa, ngenxa yalesi sizathu ukuba wedwa akukhuthazwa; khuluma nezihlobo zakho ezikutshela ukuthi hlukana nalowo muntu, ungabheki abakusizayo uhlukumezeke.
Thola labo bantu abakuthandayo futhi abafuni ukukubona uhlupheka, ngakho-ke qala ukuhlela imizwa yakho nemizwelo yakho ukuze ungabuyeli emuva, labo abafuna okungcono kakhulu empilweni yakho kuyingxenye yesizathu.
Izizathu zokushiya uthando
Kunezikhathi lapho umuntu angazizwa eboshiwe ebudlelwaneni lapho engazizwa ekhululekile, kuba yisimo esinzima lapho abashadile bengenandaba nasothandweni futhi bengaphansi kobudlelwane, bangavumeli omunye ahambe, azijezise ehlupheka ohlangothini lwakhe.
Ukungakhangwa omunye umuntu
Ucansi luyingxenye ebalulekile yenyunyana njengombhangqwana, akumeleli uhhafu, luhambisana no-70% wobudlelwane; Ngokungabe usazizwa uboshelwe kulowo mzuzu osondelene, ukuphuka kuqinisekile, ngakho-ke kuyadingeka ukucabanga futhi unqume ukungabophi omunye umuntu.
Okwamanje lapho ukukhangwa kobulili phakathi kombhangqwana kulahlekile, isimo sinamandla; kodwa uma kuphambene, konke kuhambisana, ungafinyelela iphuzu eliphakathi futhi uxazulule isimo.
lapho akulona uthando
Uma umuntu esegila imizwa yothando ngalo mkhuba, uzizwa ecwile lapho engakhululekile khona, kuba yinto enzima, ngoba umuntu akaphindiseli uthando futhi uzizwa ebanjwe ukwesaba ukuwa noma ukuzizwa eyedwa. , ebophela omunye umuntu ekuhluphekeni okufanayo.
Ungachitha isikhathi esiningi ngale ndlela, ungazivumeli ukuba ushiywe wedwa, ungakwazi ukuqhubeka nokuphila, ulinde izinguquko ezingezi futhi yonke into ingaba nzima. Lolu hlobo lwesimo kumele luhlonzwe ukuze kuthiwe bye, ludelela kodwa luyimpilo, kwazise izimo okungafanele zenzeke njengezithandani zingagwemeka.
Inkohliso
Ezikhathini eziningi, ukukhohlisa kuyisizathu esiyinhloko sokuhlukana, njengoba kuyizipoki ezingenakuqedwa uma umuntu engazimisele ukuvula ikhasi.
Ukudumala nokulahlwa okungenzeka ukuthi bekukhona phakathi kwalaba ababili kungena phakathi, uma kube nokudelela futhi isizathu asizange sibe nesizathu, zonke iziqalo ziyahlangana futhi kuvele isiphetho, ukukhaphela.
Kubuhlungu uma kufezeka, into engcono kakhulu engenziwa umbhangqwana, uma kungekho zinguquko, ukuhlukana, ukugwema ukulimala okwengeziwe emizweni yabo bobabili.