Ubulolo. Ukuziva wedwa yimeko yomntu, yimvakalelo yendalo oko akusoloko kungalunganga, kodwa kunokuba luncedo kuthi.
IKrisimesi lelinye lamaxesha onyaka xa ubani unokuziva elilolo naxa engqongwe yintsapho nabahlobo. Kangangokuba kukho abantu abangaphumliyo kwezi ntsuku, bazive bebuhlungu kwaye bafuna ukulila okanye bafune ukuba kudlule ngokukhawuleza kwaye kunganyanzelekanga ukuba banyamezele obu bulolo.
Yintoni esiyiqondayo ngobulolo kwaye sinokubona njani ukuba siyaziva?
Igama elithi isithukuthezi okwangoku lisenza sicinge ngokukhawuleza into embi, into esifuna ukuyiphepha. Eli gama linikwe ixabiso elibi ixesha elide kangangokuba liye labekwa ibala. Ngaphezu koko, kukho abantu ababaziyo abanye abantu abangazisi kwanto kubo nabade bayityhefu kubo ngenxa nje yokuba bengaziva bodwa, yaye oku kubangelwa koku kuhlala kuthe phithi kukunxulumanisa isithukuthezi nento embi. Inyani yeyokuba isithukuthezi yimeko yendalo yoluntu kwaye amaxesha amaninzi ayisiyongxaki kuphela kodwa iyimfuneko kwaye iluncedo kakhulu.
Ukuba kuyinyani ukuba xa isithukuthezi siba a isimo esiqhelekileyo "sokuqhawulwa". nabanye abantu iba yingxaki, umthombo wokubandezeleka ngenxa yokuba siziva sinqanyulwe eluntwini, singabandakanywanga, singahoywa. Olu luhlobo lwesithukuthezi olufanele luphetshwe, kwaye ngelishwa, lubakho ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Kodwa amaxesha ngamaxesha okuba wedwa alungile ukuba sikwazi ukuzifumana.
Xa isithukuthezi asiyonto yokuzithandela, kodwa umphumo wesifo sengqondo
Sesikuthethile oku, kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba isithukuthezi esenzeka ngenxa yesifo sengqondo kufuneka sibekwe iliso kwaye sinyangwe. Kule meko ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ngenxa yobunzima bokuvula kwabanye okanye ngenxa yeengxaki ze I-phobia yentlalontle okanye ukujongana noluntu. Kule meko, ingxaki kufuneka ijamelane kwaye kufuneka kwenziwe umzamo wokujikeleza umntu kunye nabahlobo kunye nabantu abatyebisayo nababonelela ngentlalontle kunye noxolo lwengqondo.
Kutheni sinokuziva singamalolo kwanaxa singqongwe ngabantu?
Amaxesha amaninzi sinokuba phakathi kwabantu abaninzi, nkqu nabo sibathandayo njengosapho kunye nabahlobo, kwaye sizive silolo. Ngeli xesha, sizifumana siphakathi kwabantu abaninzi, kodwa sinemvakalelo yokunganeliseki, siziva singaphumli, sifuna ukukhala okanye sicinge ukuba le nto siyenzayo iyakruqula yaye akukho nto isizisa uvuyo.
Abantu abafumana le mvakalelo xa bekunye nabantu badla ngokuziva beneentloni ngale ndlela baziva beziva ngayo, okanye bazive benetyala ngokuba njalo. Ngamanye amaxesha abazibeki tyala kuphela, kodwa nabo bakufutshane nabo, iqabane labo okanye abahlobo babo okanye intsapho. Kwaye loo nto yenza ukuba loo mvakalelo yokungaqondi, ukudinwa kunye nokukruquka kobomi kuphawuleke ngakumbi. Loo mvakalelo yokuthatha inxaxheba kwimeko abangafuni ukuba kuyo, yokuba babonise imbeko abangenakuyiva ngelo xesha kunye nokuzenza ngathi bayavakala.
iimpawu zobulolo
Enye yeengxaki zesithukuthezi kukuba yintlanzi eziluma umsila wayo, isangqa esibi siyadalwa. Isiqalo silula kwaye singenzeka nangaphezu komnye wethu. Phakathi kweempawu eziqhelekileyo sifumanisa:
- iqela;
- imvakalelo yokungaqondwa ngabanye;
- sicinga ukuba sahlukile kwabanye abantu, ukuba asinakuxubana nabo kuba bahlukile;
- ufuna ukuba kude nehlabathi, qhawula unxibelelwano, Ukurhoxa eluntwini ukuze sizive siseluxolweni, sizolile, silungile kuthi.
Ngamanye amaxesha kukho iimpawu zobuntu ezinokubangela ukuba siwele kule ntlalo yodwa, umzekelo, i abantu abaneentloni unamanani amaninzi afuna ukuzahlula eluntwini. Abo bangenwayo okanye abathande ukuba nomlinganiswa odabukisayo, bajonge ngakumbi loo mathuba okuba wedwa kunye nokuqhawulwa konxibelelwano. Abantu abakufumana kunzima ukuseka uhlobo oluthile lobudlelwane nabanye abantu banokufumana bodwa indlela yokusabela nokuzikhusela eluntwini. Kodwa likrele elintlangothi-mbini eli kuba ekuqaleni libonakala liyindawo yokusabela, kodwa ekugqibeleni liyingxaki. Le ndawo yokusabela ibenza basondelelene ngakumbi kwaye ibenze bangabathembi abanye abantu. Sisenokuthi ubulolo kunye nokurhoxa ekuhlaleni zomelezana njengakwisangqa esikhohlakeleyo.
Ungajongana njani nemihla njengoko iphawulwe njengeKrisimesi okanye uEva woNyaka oMtsha xa sisodwa ngokwenene?
Ukuba uziva ulilolo into ekufuneka uyenzile kukukhangela abanye abantu. Oku kubonakala ngathi akukho-brainer kwaye kulula kakhulu ukwenza, kodwa ngumngeni omkhulu xa unesithukuthezi. Sonke siyazi ukuba ubuhlobo ngundoqo ukuze ungaziva ulilolo. Xa sinezihlobo sondliwa kwaye sityetyiswe kubomi bethu bonke ngamava abo. Asiphili ubomi bethu kuphela, kodwa sabelana ngobomi obuninzi kwaye oko kusenza siguquke kwaye sizityebise. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kangaka ukuhlakulela ubuhlobo, enoba bobo bakudala okanye bakutshanje. Abantu kufuneka baphume kwindawo esithuthuzelayo kwaye bajonge phantsi uloyiko lokungafunwa okanye ezinye iinkalo zobomi.
Kodwa ukuba le mihla ifikile kwaye asinabo abahlobo kufuphi, sinokuhlala sikhetha ukucwangcisa uhambo, ukufumana ezinye iindawo, ukuya kundwendwela umntu esingazange simbone ixesha elide ... Okanye ukuba ngokwenene asinayo. nabani na, kufuneka silungiselele iveki ngendlela eyahlukileyo, ukuba akukho zithuba ezingenanto phakathi kwemini nemini ngaphandle kwezo silala ngazo. Oko kukuthi, gcwalisa iyure nganye yosuku ukwenza izinto. Umzekelo uyakuba kukhetha le mihla ukwenza utshintsho kwikhaya.
Singenza njani abanye abantu abaziva bengamalolo ngale mihla bazive bebhetele?
Ukuba akuthina abaziva sisodwa kodwa umntu esimaziyo, into yokuqala ekufuneka sicace ngayo kukuba yimvakalelo eqhelekileyo eya kuthi wonke umntu abe nayo ngaxa lithile ebomini bakhe. Simele sikhumbule ukuba xa wedwa kukho imfuneko yokuba "kwiingcinga zomnye umntu", oko kukuthi, akubhekiseli kuye kodwa "ngomnye okugcinayo". Le yindlela yokuqinisekisa ubukho bomntu. Yiyo loo nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba kwiimeko apho sifumanisa ukuba kukho umntu oziva enesithukuthezi, kufuneka sibekho kuye, sithethe naye, simthumelele imiyalezo, simtsalele umnxeba, simbuze ukuba unjani, sibonise umdla kuye. zabo kunye nokuphila kakuhle.
Babandakanye nathi
Enye yezinto esinokuzenza kule mihla benze ukuba bathathe inxaxheba lokutya okanye izidlo zokubhiyozela. Babandakanye kwizidlo, isidlo sasemini okanye isidlo sangokuhlwa kunye nosapho okanye abahlobo. Eli linyathelo lokuqala lokuba bazi ukuba siye sacinga ngabo, ukuba bakhona yaye bakhona yaye babalulekile kwabanye abantu.
En los iimeko apho isizungu sihamba kunye neengxaki zengqondo okanye ukuhoxiswa kwentlalo Uncedo lochwephesha luya kucetyiswa ukuze lusebenze njengesikhokelo ekukhuthazeni ukuhlala wedwa okunempilo, okungabantu abangazami ukufihla indlela yabo okanye ukuvakalelwa kwaye bavame ukuhlala ngokuphikisana rhoqo kwangaphakathi. Ngoncedo lwengcali, i-social taboos inokunqotshwa kwaye aba bantu banokugxila kwizinto ezizigcwalisayo kunye nezibheno kubo, okwenza isidingo sokwabelana ngamava abo nabanye abantu bakhule kwakhona.
Kukwabaluleke kakhulu ukusebenzisa amagama aphambili amabini ebomini: enkosi kwaye hayi. Ukwazi ukusebenzisa la magama mabini kubalulekile ukuze ukwazi ukuxabisa ngakumbi ixesha ubani alichitha ekunye nabanye. Yindlela yokuzazi kunye namandla esinawo okufunda kwiindlela zobudlelwane, ukuseka ubudlelwane nabanye.
Uza kubalapho
Amaxesha amaninzi abantu abaziva benesithukuthezi, ngakumbi kule mihla, kufuneka nje ube khona kwaye babe khona (ukholelwe okanye hayi). Ukuba uyabaphulaphula, uze ubacingele xa ulungiselela iiholide okanye ubhiyozele kunye. Ukuba uyababulela ngokuba bekhona ukuze bazive ukuba ubukho babo apho abukho nje ukukhathaza kodwa sisizathu solonwabo novuyo. Maxa wambi kubiza imali encinane kakhulu ukwenza abantu bonwabe, kodwa kuxabisa imali eninzi ukubonisa iimvakalelo zethu.
Ukuba senza umntu olilolo abekho emgidini, kodwa singathethi naye okanye simenze azive evuya ukuba elapho, asipheleli nje ekumncedeni ngelo xesha, kodwa siyenza mandundu ngakumbi intswelo yakhe. ukuzenza ikheswa kunye nokungafuni ukuthatha inxaxheba kuyo nantoni na emele ukuhlalisana nabanye.