How to forgive yourself

you can forgive yourself

Forgiving yourself is a meditative process through which we become aware of our actions, the consequences and the resulting pain, ask for forgiveness and undertake the necessary behavioral changes so as not to repeat them. Sometimes, some people are unable to, leading to a decrease in their daily functioning and, in the long run, negatively affecting their mental health.

Here we are going to explain the reasons why there are people who do not feel capable of forgiving themselves, the importance of successfully going through the process and we will share some tips to achieve it. Next we will see how to forgive yourself.

Why can't I forgive myself?

It is possible to forgive yourself

Forgiving ourselves is the process by which we manage to take responsibility for hurting a person, express our discomfort with them and take remedial actions to correct or not repeat the resulting situation, thus reaching a higher level of moral conscience.

However, sometimes a person cannot forgive himself. This can be due to different reasons:

  • Mistakes made that have caused (or not avoided) the breakdown or loss of specific situations in your life: emotional crises, broken friendships, death of people, completion of certain events, etc.
  • The ego of this person is very punitive, it does not allow him to make mistakes and punishes him for every mistake he makes. In this article we explain what the ego is and how it works.
  • External agents constantly remind us of our responsibility for mistakes: for example, when family, friends or acquaintances continue to blame us for what happened.

In all of these cases, the person is unable to begin the process of self-forgiveness, which can cause enormous psychological damage from guilt and shame.

Forgiving yourself, why is it so important?

Sometimes it's hard to be yourself

When we make mistakes we must forgive ourselves to move forward in a positive and healthy way. Forgiving yourself does not mean ignoring or forgetting the mistakes you have made. For self-forgiveness to be real, it is necessary to take responsibility for what happened and carry out a process of introspection that leads us to correct mistakes by repairing our behavior (external or internal), so the previous step is a necessary step. to forgive ourselves...

Being able to forgive yourself often depends on some aspect of your personality:

  • People who can forgive themselves are those who have and maintain a high self-esteem, life satisfaction and mental health; they are prosocial people, kind and very good at forgiving others.
  • People who do not allow themselves to forgive themselves tend to have low self-esteem, high levels of guilt, anxiety, and depression, and low personal satisfaction with their life. According to him buddhism, forgiving the pain that others have caused us, and asking for forgiveness for our hurtful actions, are necessary actions to purify our negative parts and get closer to our true nature.

Tips on how to forgive yourself

How to forgive yourself in nature

In this section, we will discuss techniques for forgiving yourself, forgiveness therapy, and how to forgive yourself for infidelity. The different techniques or ways to forgive yourself are as follows:

  • Analyze the reasons. For example, analyze what caused him to maintain the alleged infidelity (dissatisfaction with the partner, revenge, impulsive and indiscreet behavior, etc.).
  • understand the needs. What action are we going to take? What are we searching for? Behind every move there must be cover. Ask and find out what you need.
  • Connect with emotions. Reflect on how we feel when we perform the behavior. In the case of infidelity, reflect on what the experience means to you and how you want to act (it is punctual and temporary, it takes you emotionally beyond physical relationships, etc.)
  • Take responsibility for actions. Don't make excuses or hide. Taking responsibility for your actions makes you brave. Acknowledging it is the first step to accepting it and being able to change it. "I feel like an essential step on the road to forgiveness."
  • Accept the consequences. At this point, it is important to accept and respect the consequences of our actions. In the case of infidelity, for example: the pain caused to our partner and the decisions he made, the breakup or estrangement from the couple, etc.
  • Identify the barriers. Creating a list of things that prevent you from forgiving yourself versus things you can do to forgive yourself is a very obvious and practical way to take those actions that will benefit the process of forgiveness.
  • Meditate Meditating or imagining asking the injured person for forgiveness will help us feel the pain that pain caused us and will alleviate our guilt. Here you can read a little more about meditation.
  • Visualize. Meditate or imagine the release of parasitic guilt that makes us feel bad but prevents us from acting to make amends. This will allow us to take responsibility for what happened and have the necessary strength to compensate for the damage caused. In this article, we explain visualization techniques.
  • Apologize. As a final step, it is necessary to apologize for the mistakes made, forgive yourself and correct them in the direction you choose in a respectful and conscious way. In the case of infidelity, if we decide to start a new relationship with the other person, it will be exposed in a cordial and emotional way. If you continue to love the person, you will act accordingly to restore balance and happiness in the relationship. If this possibility does not exist, the situation will end, accept the pain it brings, but continue with your life.
  • compensate. Directing your actions to correct your wrong actions will make it easier for you to forgive yourself for being willing to change.
  • Hoponopono. A philosophy of Polynesian origin that seeks to resolve conflicts and heal spiritually through forgiveness and love. Forgiveness is achieved through confession, reparation, repentance, and sincere understanding.
  • Forgiveness therapy. It is a psychological discipline through which you work with the affected people to forgive or apologize to those who have hurt you and free yourself from guilt for the mistakes you have made. The steps to follow in the second case are:
    • Recognize the damage caused by our actions.
    • Feel the pain we bring.
    • Analyze our behavior and why we do it.
    • Find responsive alternatives so it doesn't happen again.
    • Apologize to the injured person.
    • Compensation for damages caused by changes in our behavior.

I hope this article has been helpful to you. However, if you find yourself in a rut in your life right now, do not hesitate to ask a specialist for help, they are the ones who best help us deal with the problems that we carry in our backpack or those that arise in the present.


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